1.

Am incercat sa caut o poza care sa.mi defineasca starea,gandurile,durerile,suferinta.Dupa ce gaseam poza urma sa o pun pe blog si atat,fara sa scriu nimic.Dar nu am gasit o astfel de poza.Nici nu vroiam sa scriu.Nici eu nu stiu ce vreau.Fiecare prieten pe care l-am avut si aici nu ma refer la iubiti/iubite ma refer la prieteni in general,defapt doar niste simpli amici.Da.Fiecare amic pe care l-am avut,la inceputu mi.a aratat atata incredere,simpatie,onestitate dar cu timpul chestiile astea s.au dovedit defapt a fi niste nimicuri,chestii false.Acesti oameni pe care i.am considerat prieteni sunt niste fiinte fara personalitate,oameni cu doua fete.Sunt foarte sigura ca macar unul dintre voi a avut parte de un "prieten" deasta.

Eu nici macar nu stiu de ce scriu despre asta,aveam in gand sa scriu despre altceva.In ultimul timp am incercat sa fiu eu dar nu am putut.Nici acum nu pot sa fiu eu.Unde imi sunt visele?Unde imi sunt gandurile,sentimentele?Unde sunt?Probabil ca iar m.am pierdut in..in spatiul vostru,in lumea voastra oameni buni.Nu in lumea celor care citesc ce scriu aici(daca citesc) in lumea lu' Ion,Vasile,Florica,Floricica,pula mea,oameni de pe strada,si NU cunosc niciun Ion si asa mai departe.Defapt ce spun?E si lumea voastra,si voi mergeti pe strada,si voi aveti vise,sentimente chiar daca nu vreti sa recunoasteti.Am nevoie de un chip,de o voce,de un nou fum de tigare.

Vad fumul de tigara cum pluteste deasuprea mea,deasupra lumii mele."simt mirosul parfumului tau imbibat cu fum de tigara".Imi simt corpul tot mai greu,imi simt visele tot mai grele,zilele tot mai grele.Mi se inchid ochii deci atat am avut de spus.Ramas bun

:))

I believe i can fly,i believe i can touch the sky :))

The Letters to the Immortal beloved

In the morning-

My angel, my all

my self - only a few

words today, and indeed with pencil

(with yours)

only tomorrow is my lodging positively fixed

what a worthless waste

of time on such - why

this deep grief, where

necessity speaks -

can our love exist but

by sacrifices

by not demanding everything

can you change it, that you

not completely mine. I am not

completely yours - Oh God

2

look upon beautiful nature

and calm your soul

over what must be - love

demands everything and completely with good reason.

so it is for me with you, for you

with me - only you forget

so easily, that I must live for myself and

for you, were

we wholly united, you would

feel this painfulness

just as little as I -

my trip was frightful.

I arrived here only at 4

o'clock yesterday morning.

because they lacked horses,

the postal service chose another

route but what a

3

horrible way, at the next to the

last station they warned

me about traveling at night,

made me afraid of a forest,

but this only

provoked me - and I was

mistaken, the coach had

to break down

on the terrible route,

a mere bottomless

country road [crossed out: and the] without 2 such postil-

lions as I had, I would have

been stranded on the way

Esterhazy on the

other customary route

here had the same fate

with 8 horses, as I with

four - still I had

some pleasure again.

4

as always, whenever I fortunately

survive something - now quickly

to interior from exterior.

we will probably see each other soon.

even today I cannot

convey to you observances,

which I made during these

few days about my

life - were

our hearts always close

together, I would of course make none of the sort

my heart is full of much

to tell you - Oh - there

are still moments when I find

that speech is nothing

at all - cheer up -

remain my faithful only

treasure, my all, as I for you

the rest the gods must

send what must

and should be for us -- your faithful

ludwig -

5

Monday evening on July 6 -

You are suffering you my dearest

creature - just now I notice

that letters must be posted

very early in the morning.

Mondays - Thursdays -

the only days on which

the mail goes from here

to K - you are suffering -Oh, wherever

I am, you are with me.

I say to myself and to you, arrange

that I can live with you.

what a life!!!! as it is!!!!

without you - Persecuted by

the kindness of people here

and there, which I think - I want

to deserve just as little

as I deserve it - Humility

of man to

man - it pains

me - and when I regard myself

6

in the framewoek

of the universe

what am I and what is

he - whom one

calls the Greatest -

and yet - herein is

again the divine spark

of man - I

weep when I think

that you will probably

not receive the first

news of me until

Saturday - as much as you

love me - I love you

even more deeply but - but

never hide yourself from

7

me - good night - as

one bathing I must go to

sleep [struck out: o go with]

[struck out: go with --]

so near! so far! is

not our love a true

heavenly edifice -

but also firm, like

the firmament -

good morning on July 7 -

while still in bed thoughts

thrust themselves toward you my

eternally beloved

now and then happy

then again sad.

awaiting fate.

if it will grant us a favorable hearing -

I can only live either

wholly with you or not at all.

8

yes I have resolved

to stray about

in the distance, until I

can fly into your arms

and call myself

entirely at home with you.

can send my soul

embraced by you

into the realm of spirits -

yes unfortunately it must be - you

will compose yourself all the more

since you know my faithfulness

to you, never can another

own my heart,

never - never - O God why

have to separate oneself,

what one loves so, and yet my

life in V [ienna] as it is now is a

miserable life - Your

love makes me the most happy

and the most unhappy

at once - at my age I would

need some conformity

regularity of life - can

9

this exist in our

relationship? -- Angel, right now

I hear that the mail

goes every day -

and I must therefore

close, so that you

will receive the L [etter] immediately -

be calm, only through

quiet contemplation of our

existence can we

reach our goal

to live together -

be patient -love me -

today - yesterday -

What longing with

tears for you -

you - you my

10

love - my

all - fare-

well - o continue

to love me - never

misjudge the most faithful

heart of your

beloved

L

forever yours

forever mine

forever us